The diary of Wade Heavenly and the life of a ProtoZoalord

By drag-5 and WarriorZoalord

A forerunner to 'guyverteam'

December 6th 2004

I got an email from some guy called gyuo today .
he sounds like a complete git! after all his pompous "i am the 12th general" and all that BLAH BLAH BLAH, all he wanted to say was that i hadn't signed off the crates of dog food that i had sent. apparently, in japan, they have to have signatures on official forms! wel that'll be the first thing to go when i take over. dam it to hell and back. i don't know why i am not running this joint after all. i mean whats so special about that alanekphel guy anyway? i mean yeah he's got swanky hair(bloody swine i wanna know his recipe) and a cool robe but at the end of the day he hasn't got 5 degrees!
I get tired of this sh*t sometimes. anyway i am sorry for just moaning at you!
Today, today. yes erm what happened today?
oh yeah i was gonna say something about a giver. or is it spelled gaivur. well anyway it is some sort of losing control of yourself or somethiing...
well someone in the toilet was chatting about it. when i walked in they just stopped talking. i pulled their spleen out because that was just rude. then i thought that i probably should of asked them what they were talking about.
oh well it cant be important.
well i have been to town today and i went into the game shop and i saw....
well i only saw that there is a new zelda game out!!
the four swords they call it!
well i bought it and now i am gonna go and play it!
I love zelda! i mean the way he has to fight with swords is just so cool. i would hate to be that feeble but then its fun just to watch how badly he does when he gets slaughtered by just a few (maybe a hundred?) measly zoanoid type monsters.
well im off to have a laugh at that zelda guy now .
Chao for now!

December 7th 2004

I woke up with a splitting headache this morning.
I never got the chance to laugh at that zelda dude, my pal freddy purgstall phoned me up and we went for a night on the town!
well we had a corker of a night!
we went down to france and found a nightclub there. there was some band called u3 playing or something like that and we had a good ol' dance.
freddy , now hes a real one with the women. he got pretty drunk and was dancing on a railing. you should have seen him! he even wore his genrals cape to impress the women and there he was standing on this railing in all his getup a glass of beer in one hand and gyrating his hips at all the women who went past! now when i sy he is one with the ladies, i was using sarcasm, i tell you all the looks he got, i was so embarassed.
he did pul though in the end. now what was her name.... thats right jorden. she was called jordun and she had massive.... well lets say i was quite shocked and he obviously had a good time!!
i just stood on the stage and looked cool. thats when the trouble started.
well you seein france the people are a bit ignorant and obviously don't know true greatness when they see it. this guy he walked up to me and said "hey get your hands off my girl" well i was quite insulted i mean she wasn't his, she was quite obviously mine but i was in quite a good mood so i gave her back to him. i even went so far as to give him some carrier bags for her as well.
well to the task at hand.
today i woke up to the sound of a band playing in my room. i was rather annoyed at this but then irealised it was the radio so i switched that off and realised i was still drunk. !! me of all people still drunk!!
well when i had shook that off and started some work i discovered that some guy was coming to my branch.
im sure he was some important guy. called balcers or something.
anyway he is coming tonite so i suppose i better go and meet him and see what he wants. thats enough fo now, diary closed.

December 8th 2004

I met up with that old codger balcus last night. he is a weird one. i swear he is so old fashioned im sure he has come out of the middle ages or something.
anyway he wanted to come and check on the progres of MY zoanoids.
The cheek! i couldn't believe it i was gonna tell him to shove it up his arse, when the report of how my zoanoids are doing arrived on my desk.
of course it looked like i had it all ready for him. he was so happy he gave me a werthers original sweet.
he informed me that he was planning on staying the night so i let him take the report with him and we would talk about it the next day.
this morning we ate breakfast together. balkuss wouldn't eat the food i was offering though. he is awfully picky i mean there is nothing wrong with my menu.

Then we went on to discuss the zoanoids. he told me that i shouldn't be eating them! well i always thought that they were quite tasty. i heard that they eat them in japan. there is a nice one they call enzyme 2 i believe.
after that he gave me a couple of plans for zoanoids they call aptem. he said i would find it highly useful and then he ran onto his helicopter chuckling.
he is crazy. i dont know why he gives me this well awesome zoanoid and then runs away like hes some kind of psychopath!?
well anyway i'll get to work making this aptem thingy.
it shouldn't take long to make. looks quite good as well.

oh, yeah i played on that zelda game! it is well good. i get to laugh at four of the little buggers!
Thats it from me, signing off.

December 10th 2004

Well hey guys, i am sorry i couldnt post yesterday! i had some plumbers around my room fixing in a radiator. i am so warm now i am not wearing socks! i have gotten started on that aptem thingy and i gotta say its shaping up rather well. i have had all sorts of problems however, with these plumbers going around poking here and there. one time they found my weapons cache. i had to get in there so they didn't break anything. these swords can be awfully fragile.

while i was eating my lunch they distracted me as well and it ran away. i was hungry for ages after that so i had a nibbly of the plumbers left arm. the cheeky swine was making a hell of a noise! he was compaining about ambulances and getting doctors and all sorts. i swear these plumbers must not be used to being eaten.
i am not in the best of moods right now coz i lost one of my cars. when i went out with freddy i must have left it in one of the canals i was driving through. never mind i'll just get another one. i hear the army make a good model... what do they call it? tanck? something like that.
oh before i go, i got an email from that gyoouo fella. he was telling me i had a gafer problem heading my way through my suez canals.? is that like ear canals>? and this gaifur thing i think thats what those guys in the toilets were talking about.. it must be some medical thing. what the hell that giuwo guy knows about it i don't know. these japanes they think of everything. maybe he's got a super advanced cross planet medical detector? i should send him a letter with a dead rat in it to say thanks.

December 13th 2004

wow its the thirteenth today!
13 un lucky for some.. hehehe.
not for me but i KNOW some people gonna be unlucky today!
you see gyuo liked his rat. he liked it so much he sent me an uzi.
wow i LOVE these things. the way they can tear people in two with the nudge of a trigger!!!
BLAM BLAM BLAM 3X for luck!
I went to the park for a bit of friendly practice today. some good players today as well. some people were taking cover behind this huge tree! boy that proved a real challenge, i really enjoyed myself. i hope the other players enjoyed themselves too!
after all the people had gotten so tired from being shot they lay down, i went to see if the ducks wanted to play as well.
they were no fun though. they just sat still so i soon got bored and came back home.
The worst thing happened when i got home! I shot myself in the foot big style! no i actually shot myself in the foot. blood everywhere! i had to call a cleaner. That was annoying. she kept knocking pictures down. i gave her a lolly pop and made her promise to be careful, and she was ok after that. i am such a nice guy!
I've not had any symptoms of this gayfer yet. i should phone gyuo and ask him what to expect.
I'll have some more practice with shooting tomorrow.

December 14th 2004

well that explains a lot. I better be ready for this guyver thing! Well i guess that aptom should help out a lot! I should be nicer to that balkus dude! I know! I'll invite him to my next uzi practice! speaking of which... I had a great game today!! there were police at the park and they decided to join in!! they had their own pistols and everything. even got a few shots in. i got shot in the leg, the shoulder, and even got one through the eye! that stung a bit. but hey, if youre gonna play you gotta expect to get hurt sometimes. After i got patched up, i went to see how aptom is coming along. The scientist asked me if i wanted to put a transmitter inside him... I don't know what the hell i'd need that for? i mean what about my telepathy? These people are getting strange. Im surrounded by lunatics!! I pulled the scientist eyes out for being a bit weird. he was silly he deserved it. It was quite funny watching him running about with his eyes pointing at the ground!! he was trying to see and his eyes were going like this

December 14th 2004

Well, this would be my first entry due to the fact that I just got out of the processing tank, ugh do they smell, I'm glad I was unconsious most of the time. Anyway after getting dressed Lord Balkus descided to test my abilities to make sure I don't electricute myself or something, they made me after one of the other supreme generals called Purgstall, I never met him but he's supposed to command lightning. Though it seems that Balkus made some improvements over the `Proto-zoalord` called Masaki Murakami, he's an ally of the guyvers and could pose a problem.

My test composed of me pitting my eletrical powers against those of a hyper zoanoid they called Elgen, needless to say the test went better than Balkus expected due to the fact that all of the Elgen's attacks just restored my energy. Although the same couldn't be said for my attacks against him, one lightning bolt overloaded him and caused him to fry himself, turning the hyper zoanoid into ash, I enjoyed it for some reason.

Already I have my first assignment, I have no idea why they are giving me this one though because I think it should be put into the hands of one of the supreme generals, but they are sending me to the UK branch, they fear that the Branch manager has been "knocked off his block" as they have been saying. They say he eats his zoanoids and regularly goes around shooting innocent people, I guess they want me to evaluate the situation and report back. They sauid I should watch him for a month or so to "get into his mind".... but isnt that why they made zoalords telepathic? oh well, I had better get ready to go visit this Wade guy.

Oh I forgot to mention, Balkus gave me the name Ikaru for some reason, but no last name.... I wonder why?

December 15th 2004

I sent a mail to baclus last night, inviting him to play uzi.
when i got the reply he declined but he actually said he was sending one of his chums to play instead! he said this guy could help me out too! my oh my, this balkers fella is so kind! his name is somthing like igloo or ikeroo or something like that. must be one of his other weird monsters like aptem(who is almost finished).
at the moment im having trouble thinking.
this dam helicopter is hovering outside my room.
i sould hurry up and tell him what flavour pizza i want before he goes off to pick up this igloo fella.
just a sec......
yeah i want peperoni! oh and see if you can beat my record for loop the loops! what was that? oh yeah here you go look after it, ive got more practise in the park tomorrow. ammo is full, let me know if you manage to hit that old lady again! ... Hi i'm back.
that helicopter dude is really cool. i hope he looks after this ikarew.

I heard that gayver has arrived in 'place south of me'.
i should send him an invitation to tea. this gyuo says he'll be a real nasty problem but i suppose if i'm nice to him he might not be so nasty!
I know! i'll invite him for sword battles! he might enjoy that!
well gotta go now, very busy. i gotta finish off aptem and get him trained up.
NOTE:'place south of me' is the new port town that is built directly south of Wade Heavenlys house

December 15th 2004

Sigh, Why the heck do we have to fly aroundthe world on airplanes, from what i heard we are faster, and that we can teleport prety much anywhere at will, at least Wade managed to send a helicopter for me, what kind of name is Wade Heavenly anyway? does herun around wearing womens clothing or something?

Anyway when I arrived Wade had the guts to ask me to play "uzi" with him,anyway he wouldnt be able to hurt me with such a primitive weapon anyway, I would just have to use my telepathic powers to stop the bullets...... maybe i should do that then send the bullets back to him, then he should know not to mess with me.

I heard that at least one of the guyvers are nearby, so that means murikami might be with them..... I can't believe I have to explain to this guy what a Guyver is, it'll probably take me an hour just to get him to pronounce it right. Everytime Wade talks to me he keeps calling me a different name, like igloo or ikarew, i swear he calls me igloo one more time im going to short circut the entire building.... I should stop now before I fry my journel.

December 16th 2004

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
There are no words to describe how angry i am with baclers.
He has set me up with TWO uncontrollable creatures!!!!!!!
first there is tis igloo guy! my GOD he is so POMPOUS!!
i asked him to play uzi and he flat REFUSED!?!
I have some plans though! He he he...
You see aptem hatched last night, and while my telepathy doesn't work on him, its not the only method of controlling someone.
I find napalm works well. i kept him in a room and basically trained him to obey me. using napalm to punish him if he did wrong.
i suppose its like brainwashing. so this is great! balcus has really shot himself in the foot with htis coz ikru can't control aptem but i can!!
Im teaming them up!
I have decided that both creatures first task is to be ambassadors to guyver.
god ihate that ikoru he spent an hour trying to tell me how to say guyver!!
like i don't have any qualifications!!?
anyway this morning i called them to the office. its funny that at that point when i called them both, the lights seemed to dim quite a bit. sttrange.
well anyway i instructed them both that their first mission was to find guyver TOGETHER. i gave them a cake to give to guyver as well.
I warned ikaru that if he mistreats aptom then aptom can have a snack of his arm so i guess he should ease off a little.
now h's gone!!! preparing to leave in the morning.
i tell you you wouldn't think i was the leader of this place.
if this ikrew doesn't buck his ideas up i might have to resort to violence which is very rare for me!! i mean i never really did try this battle form that alkyphel give me. he said it was the most powerful coz i was the last... i suppose thats coz im so great! maybe i'll ask ikeru for a fight? i can kick him around a bit.. thatd change his attitude !
nah maybe i'll be patient.
signing off for today, im off to drive around my office in a go cart with my head down and my hair hanging in the fashion of DAMIEN.

December 16th 2004

......I swear, does this guy know what he's doing? trying to send me and an out of control zoanoid to be the "ambassadors" to the guyver? they want to destroy us and everything we stand for, I swear, when I leave in the morning I'm going to fry the circut boxes to the entire building, give him a lot to do before I get back.

Though I have to say I was a bit surprised that Wade accually created yet ANOTHER Aptom though I bet it was Balkus's idea hoping that aptom would eat him or something, I mean the first one failed, it was uncontrolable and descided to snack on any other zoaforms.... I guess I'll have to be careful, i might have to fry this aptom if he tries to make a snack of me. Thank heavens I don't need to sleep, anyway I can guarantee that the guyver's going to fight us, though I plan on staying back and let the rouge get vaporised first, of course I can always try to convince him to make a feast out of Wade, I mean the guy used napalm on him, I kinda think he'd want some revenge, but unfortunately he's not powerful enough and therwes no way I'm letting him assimilate me..... hmmmm, wonder if I can get Wade to spare a couple hyper zoanoids.... tell him its incase the guyvers attack, then let aptom eat them instead.

December 17th 2004

Well im feeling kinda smug woth myself today!!
here i am watching through a monitor as ikru searches for guyve in 'place south of here' and here is the guyver sitting next to me drinking beer!
yeah i pulled a fast one alright! i convinced aptom to keep ikaru in the dark about my little trick, now aptom is gonna split into two and change into guyver mode and play a little game!!
hehehe. i am so cool !
well what i did is i actually tried my battle form and i found out that i can fly a lot faster!! i got to 'place sout of here' in about 10 minutes. i immediately found guyver and i gave him a gift. it was fried chip paste. he likes fried chip paste as a matter of fact, and i guess i ws lucky to guess on that! this is what he said:
"flippety jip, i could slap a chump! you got me some fried chip paste!
i could run around like a smacker jack yak on two ounces of crack!"
Yeah i was as perplexed as you but when i gave him a hearty slap on the back he realised that i was ace and so he started to talk normal.
well he flew back with me and boy he can fly fast.
when we got back, i realised we have a lot in common guyver and me, i mean he likes to eat zoanoids too!
check it out!
Guyvers Favourite food
so we sat up quite late in my secret bathroom, eating our favourite dishes. he suggested enzyme2, and i got my fave gergoile!
this morning, the inevitable happened. i suspected that the electrics were faulty yesterday when the lights dimmed. now they went altogether! me and guyver played catch the grenade in the dark!! wow the extra risk was great, i got to 100 catches before guyver dropped it! he was standing there hopping on one leg, it was so funny!! Hes a pretty fun chap this guiyver, i mean i can play properly with this one coz no matter how many bits you blow off they all grow back!!
well i gonna continue watching ikrew bungling about, im glad i sent that zoanoid mosquito to watch him!
signing off!

December 17th 2004

This ones going to be rather short before I blow the damn place up.... I'm so pissed at Wade, turns out that the guyv er I found was nothing but a guyver clone..... one imitated by aptom none hte less, needless to say i fried that aptom for getting me angry, he went up better than that elgen the other day, ahhh, but the funny part was when i teleported away..... right into the middle of Wades building and blew up the generator..... put him in the dark for a few hours.

That'll teach him to get me mad... I made Aptom hike all thew way back since he does such a poor imitation of a guyver, I spotted it in a second that it was fake, having seen images of the real guyvers inaction. oh well, nother day, another problem, tommorow i'm sending a preliminary report about Wade to The main HQ.

December 18th 2004

NOTE:if you have a fear factory cd handy then put on the hardest most aggressive track you can think of and this scene will be so more fitting.
I walked to the door of my room last night to hear some very loud music. it ws fear factory, and i was wondering who would be playing fear factory in my room!!
as i opened the door i saw some smoke coming from behind the desk. i couldn't see very well coz the generator had gone again!!
when i got closer i saw a lot of sparks and there was a bottle of beer sitting on my desk. over the sound of welding i could hear a voice ranting and then a chuckle every now and again. i got to the desk and cleared my throat.
ikaru popped his head up. " oh hi boss," he said AS IF HE WAS DOING NOTHING WRONG!! he was only welding sticks of dynamite under my seat!!
i lost my temper and turned into my battle form.
i threw the desk to one side, and as ikaru saw the flash of my fangs, he looked a little panicked for a moment and then he turned into his battle form!! he sent a bolt of lightning my way. my god he is very powerful for a prototype!! he knocked me flying and even caused my entire torso to char.
i lunged at him and grabbed his head i swung him around and threw him with all my force at the wall and he smashed through into the secret bathroom. he got up, blood trickling through his lips. as i ran toward him, he was very speedy and he dodged out of my way and punched me hard in the stomach. he even managed to wind me!! as i knelt on the floor a little dazed, i prepared myself, i really was not expecting him to be so skilled so i underestimated him. i gathered my wits and then prepared to tear him apart. i think he knew that he had caught me off guard, and he saw that now i was taking it seriously, because at that moment he said "well adios Wade, see you in hell" he then transported out.
I don't know where he went but if i ever see that guy again i will tear him limb from limb. i sat down in the wreckage of my room and thought on things. balcus sent ikaru to my dept. and that was the second uncotrollable creature he has sent... maybe i should have words with balcus..


well today was the cleanup job. aptom returned and told me the damage ikaru had done to him. I must arrange a meeting with my most trusted colleagues in chronos.
i'll arrange it for tomorrow.

December 19th 2004

"And now", cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!"

This is my fav quote.
I told my buddies, (alkyphel, freddy and gyuo) about what balcus had done and they said "so what! balcus is silly. we can eat him up if he tries anything else!"
then freddy threw off his cape, while gyuo put on his skirt, and we all got the beers out.

December 20th 2004

Going on holiday with guyver!
i will be gone for about a week and maybe a bit more. i'll update ya all when i get back!!

December 23rd 2004

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but after Wade tried to kill me for saving his life, boy he get's out of control sometimes, one of his own zoanoids placed bombs around the area... I guess they were getting tired of being eaten, but i had almost all the bombs defused and Wade had stormed in, I told him i had everything under control and he attacks me.

Though the battle didn't last long, I proved that I wasn't a weakling, `Proto-zoalord` or not I have the power to take down a "supreme" zoalord in one on one combat, except maybe purgstal, as i was based off him, and chances are our powers would negate each others, leaving it to skill and experience.

Anyway, I'm getting sick and tired of all this, I tried seeking refuge with some of the other zoalords in Europe, they all attacked me on the spot, oh well, I managed to hold my own against them, even dish out some damage, I short circuited the entire nervous system of one of 'em, I forget his name... khan maybe? well, he was twitching for a good `10-15` minutes after that lightning bolt hit him.

Anyway I think I'll search for the guyvers, I'm sick of these supreme zoalords thinking they are all that, I want to take 'em down a peg or two, and I think with there help I can do it.

December 26th 2004

Sh*t guys,
I'm gonna have to be quick
Right now there is a clown in my office.
literally.
He is juggling right now.

I was called home early from my Holiday. I had left Freddy in charge, but somehow things have changed in chronos. I don't know what has happened but somehow Alkanphel has had a change of heart and now views me as a rogue! I heard something about a guyver being a rebel or something and that somebody had seen me planning to overthrow chronos with guyvers help!
I did no such thing! I reckon somebody has it in for me.
Well now I have a problem coz I gotta overthrow chronos now.

I spoke to gyuo on the phone and he was talking about the guyver.
He had heard that I had been seen blasting zoanoids in the Sahara desert with guyver. He suggested that I borrow the guyver unit. Not a bad idea.

So me and guyver are on our way to japan right now to talk to gyuo about this remover thing he has found.
Then with the power of guyver I can kill alkanphel and overthrow chronos.
simple.

I have a Bug set up in the office so I can update my diary from my phone but I'm not sure it will last... I gotta go. I'll let you know about what happens when I get this guyver remover thing and destroy chronos.

----------------------------------------------------

continued in the fanfiction 'guyverteam'.